Driving at Golden Hour in Summer

There is a dangerous freedom
found in a moving car
at sunset.
Imposing, intoxicating,
the windows overflow
with gold.
When your music is loud enough,
when it swells like syrup,
breathe deeply.
Let it all well up within you.
It will overpower,
consume you.
Let the corners of your mouth curl
slowly up your wet face.
Perfect bliss.
You will be tempted to fear death.
If you must, make it brief.
It will pass.
In this fear, you won't fear what comes,
but what you'll leave behind.
Breathe deeply.
Wrapped in this holy catharsis,
you'll learn to carry on
peacefully.

A Sonnet for Lucy

The joy you achieve spreads like an illness

An honest illustration of spirit

With jubilance, you refuse to suppress

A tail powered by love and by merit

Genuine devotion greets my greetings

Benevolence never subsides nor drifts

The moments feel like reunion meetings

And, this is how I know that I was missed

No matter the day, my mood, or my health

Your overflowing vigor comforts me

Reminding me that optimism sells

And being a teacher of the lively

Your lessons’ will be with me till the end

Life’s much sweeter with you as my friend

The Night I Heard She Died

The worst pizza I've ever had was the one I was eating when I heard the news.
"Something terrible has happened."
A big chunk of pineapple fell off
And it was slimy and my hand was shaking when I picked it up off the hardwood floor.
I couldn't even taste it.
Even so, when the first call ended, I went for another slice, just to see if it would make my stomach feel any less twisted and hollow.
It didn't, and I swallowed half a slice before taking another phone call and resting the remainder
on a sticky note at the edge of my desk.
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
"I don't know."
Every time I exhaled, it sounded like wind.
By the time Tyler called, he thought it didn't go through because I answered the phone in silence.
"Thank you."
"Thank you."
"Thank you."
I laid in bed for an hour and stared at the ceiling.
The next morning, I saw that the corner of my bed's fitted sheet had finally come undone.

Un poema para mis estudiantes

Un poema para mis estudiantes

 

You’ve grown up in poverty

But I’ll never call you El Pobre

The American Dream isn’t for you

Because you’re wise enough to want something more

Each of you is guatemalteco

Each of you is American

And I’ve watched as you figure out

What the hell that means

I’ve been there alongside you,

As you search tirelessly for identity

Ever-eluding but not entirely out of reach

 

What you are is an incredible generation

And you have a chance to bring forth

The best of both cultures,

Learning from our mistakes and ignorance

And dragging us along as you change the world

Into a place sin los muros

 

Sadly, I’m leaving you for a while

I will miss being in your life

And hearing you laugh obnoxiously

When I speak bits of Spanish

Como el tonto gringo que soy

 

But our relationship fuels my passion

To learn what I believe is without doubt

The fastest spoken language to date

And I will use that passion

When I am tearing my hair out

Porque no entiendo a los chilenos

And remembering our relationship will push me

To keep speaking broken Spanish

Trying again and again until I can speak

The language that means so much

To us both...

Kickass Words I Found in Moby Dick

I just finished reading Moby Dick. It took me almost a year, and I literally feel like I've spent that much time aboard a whaling vessel on the high seas. Here are some of my favorite cool words from the book that I want to start using in place of their more lame counterparts.

zephyr - gentle breeze
foible - minor weakness or failing of character, slight flaw or defect
conflagration - a destructive, extensive fire
obstreperous - unruly
expostulate - to reason earnestly with someone against something that person intends to do or has done
progeny - a descendant or offspring
skylark - frolic
indomitable - can't be subdued or overcome
perennial - long-lasting, enduring
ensconce - settle securely or snugly
inexorable - unyielding
exegesis - critical interpretation of a text, especially the Bible
anathema - hated person or thing
incorrigible - bad beyond correction
osseous - bony
primogeniture - being the firstborn
portent - another word for omen
antediluvian - old, primitive (literally means before the Flood)
preternatural - another word for supernatural, because why not
sinecure - a job you barely have to work for but that makes bank
somnambulism - sleepwalking
celerity - swiftness, speed
pertinacious - holding firm to a purpose, plan, or opinion
raiment - clothes

- A

HiByes

Several nights ago I was sitting down with some friends and we were talking about how often we see familiar faces on campus. We all thought it was interesting that every time this occurs we briefly acknowledge the other person, then keep walking past them. Each encounter is basically always the same. “Hey, how are you?”, “good, how are you?”,  and typically ends with “good, have a nice day!”. It feels a bit scripted. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this. People tend to be in a hurry and don’t have the time for lengthy conversations. However, I am trying to imagine how different my relationships with people would look if we both answered honestly. I’m not saying you should pour out your life story while waiting in line at Starbucks, but revealing a more about yourself is a huge step in deepening surface level friendships. If you’ve had a bad morning or have been struggling recently, tell them! If you are doing fantastic, why not share your joy? What is the worst that could happen? Someone will know more about you than before? You may understand someone else better than you previously did? These all sound like beneficial things for human connection. 

Instead of simply being short and polite, let's all take a little bit more time to be a little bit more human with one another. 

Be Known!

Thoughts while Vaping...

Here are some things I think about. Maybe you think about them too?

 

·        How do I convince myself that I am NOT the center of the world? Why do I so easily believe that this is all for me, that other people are just extras in my universe?

 

·        What would happen if for just one day I didn’t spend a second thinking about how I look or if other people were watching?

 

·        Are people that enjoy cats actually human? I mean, they can’t be, right?

 

·        Is there another white guy in America named Kieran? IF there is, should I fight him or buy him a Natty Daddy?

 

·        If I never think about death, can I really cherish all the life around and inside me? Is knowing death a prerequisite to having life?

 

·        How bad will my first car crash be? I have an eerie feeling it’s gonna be pretty gruesome…

 

·        What is the most memorable event in my life that I’ve already forgotten?

 

·        How the hell is a guy like me supposed to meet Barry O? What regrettable thing do I have to do to shake his hand?

 

·        Will I ever be able to grow a mustache? I guess I have to get armpit hair though first, right?

 

·        A story from The Autobiography of Malcolm X: “Malcolm X!” he called out- and when I looked, he stuck his hand out of his car, across at me, grinning. “Do you mind shaking hands with a white man?” Imagine that! Just as the traffic light turned green, I told him, “I don’t mind shaking hands with human beings. Are you one?”

Would Malcolm shake my hand?

·        When people are talking about me, how many describe me as NICE? Is there a more humiliating thing to be called? I’d say it comes close to the C-Word…

·        Can I really be a Minimalist with minimal effort?

·        When I feel it often seems like too much weight to carry, but during times where I’m indifferent I am pissed that I don’t feel enough. How much feeling is right for a person? And more importantly, what kind of a fucked-up question is that??

·        Why are the things I love the most the hardest to give time to?

·        Is holding a stretch for a full minute really a good idea? My doubts gain more ground each day…

 

Lastly, why does each line have the word ME or I in it??? Am I capable of writing about anything else besides myself?

The Poem I Say in the Shower

Most of the notions I had about poetry were partially spot-on. Poetry gives an avenue to be dramatic, moody, and poignant. There's a lot of poems about love and death. Snapping goes with it pretty well.

What I never considered about poetry was the skill of the poet. So much of the thrill of watching a street artist paint something on the street or watching a sand artist do something crazy on America's Got Talent is watching the artist do their thing. There's a huge disconnect, for me, between being impressed with the art itself and being absolutely blown away by the way the artist draws it out of nothingness.

I never thought about poetry that way until I heard "The Song of the Wandering Aengus" by W.B. Yeats. I distinctly remember the first song I was obsessed with. It's called "Big Brown Bass" by Randall Goodgame. I remember being a little kid and singing along with my dad and sister in the car. I'd always request it whenever we went anywhere. 

This is the first poem I've ever been similarly taken with. For the past month, it's been stuck in my head. I'll often find myself reciting it in the shower. I don't assume that it will blow you away in the same way it did for me, but I hope it will.

What was happening in his life when he wrote it? What was he thinking about? Did he think this poem was good? Was it his goal to create something so dream-like, or did it happen on accident? Am I even interpreting it in the way he would want it to be interpreted?

The more I read poetry, the more impressed I am with the ability of the poet to choose words: to have hundreds of thousands of words at their disposal, and to string together some chosen few in such a way that 119 years later, some random guy on a different continent will whisper them to himself in the shower.

- A

On Inside Out

*Spoilers ahead*

Inside Out is one of the sweetest movies I’ve seen in recent memory. The movie does a beautiful job at simplifying (in a creative manner) the way humans process their own emotions.  There is one scene in particular that stood out and had me thinking hard after the movie was over. The scene where Sadness (a character representing sorrow and grief who was portrayed as predominantly negative until this point) is in conversation with Bing Bong (Riley’s imaginary friend).

        To set the scene, Bing Bong is visibly upset after some old toys that he used to share with Riley get thrown away. These items represent Riley’s memories with her imaginary friend. Upon realizing that Riley might be done with him, Bing Bong falls to the floor in a deep sorrow. Joy (being the exuberant character she is) immediately attempts to cheer him up by trying to make him laugh and distract him from his pain. He is unfazed. Next, Sadness sits by him and (as her name implies) is sad with him. Sadness points out that those things probably meant a lot to Bing Bong. He mentions that the items reminded him of all the adventures the two used to go on and were all he had left of Riley. He begins to cry. It appears that Sadness is making the situation worse and doing nothing but bringing Bing Bong down. However, after Sadness and Bing Bong stop grieving together, he abruptly stands up and claims, “I’m okay now”. Whether that is actually true or not there is a noticeable change in his demeanor.

        I think this scene is beautiful because it displays a vital part of the human experience, empathy. The ability to understand and validate another person’s point of view. Empathy is important because it is one of the fundamental skills designed for human connection. Through empathy, we are able to identify with one’s problems, creating a sense of togetherness. I would consider this feeling to be helpful and almost healing. In order to mentally place yourself in someone else’s frame of mind you must be prepared for the grief that comes with it. Sadness is necessary for empathy. This is a hard concept to grasp, especially for children. However, Inside Out does an incredible job at neither demonizing nor romanticizing sadness.

The emotion is seen both as a pest (which it can be) and a tool for empathy (a predecessor of joy). In conclusion, I am very happy that this movie is out there to serve as an entertaining way to teach kids about emotional intelligence.

5 Things Dungeons and Dragons Taught Me About Life

I've been spending a good bit of time in the mystical land of Faerun. It's a pretty dangerous place. I'm pretty new to the land, but I've encountered my fair share of adventures. I've slaughtered reptilian humanoids in combat, watched a dragon decimate a town, liberated a governor's daughter from nefarious cultists, and gained some gold along the way. Currently the gang of rag-tag adventurers and I are en-route to battle an evil witch.

It's just a game, but it's a problem-solving game. Real life doesn't have these guys, but it does have a whole lot of other problems. Here are a few things that using my imagination and rolling some dice have taught me about the real world.

1. Evaluate the situation

When questing, you investigate everything. How many enemies are there? How far away are they? What's the terrain like? Are those guys wearing armor? How much flame is coming out of that dragon's mouth?
Before taking ANY action at all, you have to know the situation like the back of your hand. If you don't know what's happening, it's impossible to make an educated decision. That's my line of thought when I'm pretending to be a dwarf named Spikit. In real life, I need to be DOUBLE as informed about what's going on. Wrong moves can get you in a predicament in the blink of an eye.

2. Use what you have

You have resources. You have things (a rope, a lantern, a dagger infused with the spirit of a banshee), you have talents (stealth, persuasion, imitation), and you have people. You have friends and allies that will stop at nothing to ensure your survival for the continuation of the quest.
In real life, you have resources; things, talents, family, friends. At any given time, you can use what you have. In DnD, you keep a list of everything you have in your inventory. You can use ANY of these things. If you forget what you have, you'll hit yourself later. You'll realize that a problem could have been solved in a much better way if you had used the resources available to you.

3. Get creative

Sure, you could run up and ambush that group of dragon cultists. You could risk it all with foes that could obliterate you with one swing of their scimitar. Or, you could disguise yourselves in cultist costumes that you looted from previous enemies, approach with confidence, and buy time while someone else steals their weapons.
The point is that more often than not, there's more than one way to approach a problem. Don't rush into something stupid without pausing to consider that there may be a slightly less stupid way to do it.

4. Don't hesitate 

In the first 10 minutes of the quest, we stumbled upon a town being obliterated by a gargantuan dragon. Instead of rushing to the scene (you know, like heroes do), we decided to "play it safe" and "wait it out" and "see if the dragon just goes away or something". When we finally wandered into the town 4 hours later, the destruction was devastating. Could we have taken out the dragon? Probably not. Could we have saved some people? Maybe. Either way, there was nothing to gain by sitting around and waiting for our problems to go away.
The above scenario sounds painfully similar to lots of my own real-life scenarios.

5. Remember what matters

There are so many opportunities to get sidetracked. There are so many opportunities to get caught up in the moment and completely lose sight of what matters. Will you let your rage consume you and make stupid decisions? Will you do something just to look cool that ends up being a setback for the whole team? If your goal isn't constantly on the forefront of your mind, you'll end up losing sight of it. Backtracking is never fun.


Don't lose sight of what matters. What are you questing for? What dragons do you need to slay? Are you going to sit around and wait for them to go away? Whatever you do, don't forget that you're not alone: and don't forget that 30 feet of rope has more uses than you think.

- A

I had to write a paper for my History of Rock class earlier this week and it got me thinking about what makes a song a person's "favorite" song. Is it the beat? The melody? The lyrics? Or just the way you feel when you listen to it? I don't know.

I think trying to break down songs/music to their basic components ruins the intended message. For example,  I've been listening to Kendrick's new song "All the Stars" a lot recently, but I just looked at the lyrics for it tonight and I couldn't really tell what the overarching theme of the song is, but I know I love the song. I wouldn't call it my favorite song or even my favorite Kendrick song (it's "i" simply because of the spoken word section at the beginning), but it's the most streamed Kendrick song on iTunes as of the time of me writing this post. I don't think that's because it's Kendrick's best song, I think it's simply due to it being the most recent Kendrick song to be released.

People are fickle.

Greetings blogosphere!

My name is Zach and this is my introductory blog. I figured the best way to describe myself was to
compile a list of things I like/support and a list of things I do not like/support. Enjoy!

Things I like

1. Hannah

2. When people introduce me to new music and vice versa

3. Love Does by Bob Goff

4. Smiles from strangers

5. When you wake up naturally before your alarm goes off

6. Picnics

7. Gus’s delivery

8. When a ton of birds fly together and the flock looks like a wave in the sky.

9. Baths

10. Playing basketball with friends

Things I do not like

1. Bono

2. Stress from planning

3. When people…..talk….really…..slow….

4. Krystal fast food

5. That feeling when you get sleepy and your eyes feel heavy

6. Simply the idea of The Fast and the Furious movies

7. Hat hair

8. Unnecessary sweating

9. Lag-Deaths in Fortnite

10. The feeling I felt after watching the movie “Half Nelson” starring Ryan Gosling